the mundane needs some thinking over

M

2011-06-03T12:58:00.000+05:30

Memories. They do bring a smile.

2011-02-17T16:48:00.001+05:30

Tere khushboo mein base khat main jalata kaise?

WISE cracks

2010-12-01T14:21:00.000+05:30

The difference between 'think' and 'is' is called Life.

2010-11-18T13:45:00.000+05:30

Back after long. Life has been very hectic and unpredictable. Have had no time to relax or contemplate over anything. Everything is uncertain. All lose ends. Waiting for one to get tied so that i can figure out the rest. Papa has been very ill. Has been in the hospital almost all of the month gone by. Travelling to and fro between office and hospital is taking its toll on me.

Would have collapsed had it not been for the support of dear friends. Thanks everyone.
Hope someone had a good Diwali because i didnt.

2010-10-29T11:10:00.000+05:30

A very happy birthday to you. Hope this becomes the starting point of the rest of your life. A life devoid of the major burdens you have been carrying on your shoulders tirelessly. A life that has its shares of ups and downs but more ups than downs. A life where you smile more often and cry little. A life that makes you realise that life can be beautiful. A life that gives you all you want.

Happy Birthday Jigyasa. My best will always be with you. Start smiling.

Vaibhava

The Realisation

2010-10-18T19:08:00.000+05:30

It starts off small. A chance realization, the kind that hits you out of nowhere when you are going about your life, chatting with friends, wasting time on trivial things, cracking mindless jokes, and gives you that lost kind of a look for a moment and you shrug it off to ask your friend what he just said. You are told the punch line of the joke again and you laugh your heart out. Reluctantly. Because, somewhere deep inside you, the thought has taken permanent residency.

You fear it will keep pestering you, come back at all the inopportune moments to make your laugh a tad less heartier and become the last thing you think about before sleeping and the first thing you ponder over you when wake up.

It feeds on you. The more you try to push it down, to lose it in the whirlpool of a thousand other thoughts in your head, trick yourself into getting rid of it, the stronger it becomes in the flotsam of your thoughts. There’s no escaping it.

What usually follows is restlessness. By the tonne. Nothing is what it earlier was. Time stretches. Friends aren’t the solace they once were. Food isn’t the passion you proclaimed it to be. Comfort becomes much more difficult to find.

It always completes its course. The long journey. And, although you knew it the very instant it occurred to you, you still choose the longer path of delayed realization. It's always the same. That, life has passed you by. Opportunities have passed you by. You HAVE grown up. There will be no more childhood dreams of big houses and fancy cars. The only thing that is now a reality will be the screwed up life you have lived, you are living and will continue to live. Deal with it!

2010-10-07T16:03:00.000+05:30

So be it.

2010-10-03T17:42:00.001+05:30

Jab we Met again on TV!
Every week? Seriously?

Aisa kya crime kiya hai yaar?

2010-09-29T21:58:00.001+05:30

Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Woh jo behthe thhe…
Abshaar kahan

Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Woh jo behthe the…
Abshaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan

Ummmm….
Aankh ke ek gaaon mein
Raat ko khwaab aate thhe

Aankh ke ek gaaon mein
Raat ko khwaab aate thhe
Chuney se behthe thhe, bole toh kehte thhe
Udthe khwaabon ka aietbaar kahan

Udthe khwaabon ka aietbaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan

Jin dino aap thhe
Aankh mein dhoop thi

Jin dino aap rehte thhe
Aankh mein dhoop rehti thi
Abh to jaale hi jaale hain
Yeh bhi jaane hi wale hain
Woh jo tha dard ka karaar kahan

Woh jo tha dard ka karaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Woh jo behthe the abshaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan

Enchanting.

2010-09-28T19:56:00.000+05:30

Mp3 Player Widgetgreat free widgetsWidgetboxMore info

2010-09-24T14:16:00.000+05:30

Life on Celluloid

If I were to debate with myself if this aspect of my life has been reflected accurately in any movie, I would say without a doubt 'jab we met!'

The similarities are just too many to ignore or call them a coincidence. Couldnt help but smile to myself last night when I was watching this movie all alone for the millionth time. Couldnt help but sms. There's something about the night and darkness that brings out the emotional in all of us.

Jab we Met. A long time ago.

2010-09-22T21:01:00.000+05:30

What a spectacular waste!

Jis pyaar ke sahare kai zindagi bita gaye
Hum ishq ka aaghaaz bhi na kar paye.

2010-09-22T12:56:00.000+05:30

What happens to unrequited love?

It sores, becomes a wound, starts bleeding and then it stinks.

2010-09-20T22:28:00.000+05:30

Why the sudden interest from Moscow? Is the KGB tracking me?
;)

2010-09-17T13:30:00.001+05:30

Darr lagta hai ishq karne mein jee
Dil to bachcha hai jee...

2010-09-16T12:52:00.000+05:30

Tujhse mil ke imli meethi lagti hai...
Tujhse bichhad kar shahed bhi khaara lagta hai!

2010-09-15T20:07:00.000+05:30

Still waiting to know where I stand.

2010-09-13T17:20:00.000+05:30

Aah ko chaahiye ek umra asar hone tak
kaun jeetaa hai tere zulf ke sar hone tak
Aashiqi sabr talab aur tamanna betaab
Dil kaa kyaa rang karoon khoon-e-jigar hone tak
Ham ne maana ke tagaful na karoge lekin
khaak ho jayenge ham tum ko khabar hone tak
Gam-e-hastii kaa 'asad' kisase ho kuz-marg-e-ilaaj
shamaa har rang mein jaltee hai sahar hone tak...

2010-09-13T13:23:00.000+05:30

And the Circus continues.
Sweet talks, fights, promises, more sweet talks, disagreements, looking over things, awkward moments, fight again... Silence.

2010-09-12T02:32:00.000+05:30

Why the hell is it so complicated?

2010-08-30T20:19:00.001+05:30

Tuesday, July 13, 2010
All that i am left with. Memories and just memories. When nobody is around i go for a brief visit to my make believe world which makes it easier for me to regain consciousness of reality which is still the same,will remain the same. Time changes everything and here i am after 5 months and 20 days( since i last msgd you) with a lot of changes in my thought process. Changes in me,my mind,my choices,my preferences and my heart. But i cannot expect things to be the same when the only thing constant is change ( i so hate it) . I prefer bus to metro,i prefer 'hot chai' to coffee or even pulpy orange,i prefer walking to abike ride, i prefer green to purple( can you bvelieve that??). my preferences which now have changed wont make an ounce of a difference but this is the only way to solace coz i cannot keep it just to myself. not anymore. It;s so strange that people whom you fight with like crazy make you realise their worth after they are out of your reach.
Dadi i miss you, though we used to fight everyday like mad but i miss you when i step out of home,when i see that bed, your chair which now remains vacant, that door which remains closed,that tap which now makes no noise,everything..i miss you. and YOU.

Posted by Curiosity at 12:52 AM

2010-08-30T20:16:00.000+05:30

"Friday, July 30, 2010
though i m very sure that post was not for me but still on reading it,tears rolled down my cheeks and my hands are shivering while typing these letters. i really dont know whom were u referring to but it was kind of amazing that u could observe that someone's following your blog so closely and disheartening coz i know it was not for me. cant even tell u it's me. it's so very hard.u could not figure out that it's me, it was very sad for me. i mean someone's keeping a track of each and every post & u dont really know it's me.
Posted by Curiosity at 12:45 PM 0 comments

It was for you. How could I not know?

2010-08-30T20:10:00.000+05:30

Reading this makes me feel good. Still Im not happy.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Today i got to know a fact which makes me hate him with much greater intensity than ever before. Ever heard of hatred giving you the strength that you always needed within yourself? I didnt know that it could do wonders,though i have seen someone trying the same with himself but i was always doubtful of it's potential and efficiency. Coming back to the same old topic which will never seem redundant on my blog.I miss you badly with each passing day. It's good to see that smile on your face again. I have no options left with me now so i will not be cribbing about it anymore. Oh! by the way there's this daily soap on Star Plus which i m addicted to, hopelessly. Though the show is not that exciting that i should be watching it religiously instead of studying but i love,really Love this character , Ishaan on the show. OMG! it feels like the script writer has been doing some kind of a research on you for past 5-6 years. I might be wrong since i do not know what/how is it like now being with you but it makes me go crazy. I think my last wish will never come true.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiUKvb-zpnM
Posted by Curiosity at 10:43 PM

2010-08-18T15:14:00.000+05:30

He saw the light. He couldn't believe it. His eyes lit up and forgetting all that he had gone through, he ran towards it like a man possessed. In a moment it was on him. He lay there and saw the train pass over, killing him in an instant. What he thought would be his salvation turned out to be something polemically opposite.

They found him in the morning. Dead on the tracks. There was a faint hint of a smile on his face.

END OF ACT TWO

(Curtain falls)

2010-08-16T19:18:00.000+05:30

There is light at the end of the tunnel. And, its not another train coming.
Shall remember this day. The 16th of August 2010. Mark it.

2010-07-29T23:00:00.000+05:30

Tinkering with my blog a bit. Had got bored with the same look for the past 4 years.

I want to know something. When YOU are visiting my blog regularly, sometimes twice in a day, even when im hardly posting anything, then why dont you drop in a comment once in a while?

I would really appreciate it. Hope YOU like the new look.

2010-07-23T21:01:00.001+05:30

Another post that is being made because of the absolute necessity of writing something, anything. As always, I dont have anything to say. The writer that I once thought I was, seems to be dead. I read my own posts of times gone by and I cannot recognise my own writing. The commerce that has crept into my writing has completely driven out the aesthetic. Now, whatever I write, its not what I want to write but what I have to write. Anyway, moving on.

As my last post said, I have moved to Rediffusion Y&R. The work is good. I have made some great friends. Have learnt to play Foosball and have become pretty good at it. Bought a new bike, something i had been planning for a long time. Life's good as they say.

No coherence in whatever im writing. As i said, its teh need to write that is making me do this. Life's drifting by. I realised today that I have been working for two years now and that the interns who have joined this year are kids who I can teach a thing or two about advertising. It feels good, but I guess it should also feel bad. Bad, because I have done nothing of note in the past two years. But, it really doesnt bother me the way it should. I dont know why. Maybe because im happy with whatever I get. Dangerous path to start on but im just thinking aloud.

Enough ranting i guess. Anyway, the purpose has been solved. Till the next time, keep reading. Its the only worthwhile thing according to me.

2010-04-12T15:20:00.000+05:30

Another part of my life comes to an end. Another starts. Last day at Euro RSCG, I lasted all of 7 months. The going was good, learned new things, made new friends. But all good things come to an end, so here I am, staring at goodbyes. I move to Rediff, an agency right across my present one. So near that i can see it from my chair if i crane my neck a little. Yet, so far, because physical distance is never what separates people. Its the distance between hearts that does.

I go, with a hope that distances wont creep in. But even while hoping so, Im sure that they have already started.

2010-02-10T11:53:00.000+05:30

I had an epiphany.
It goes something like this. I wear glasses, as do a lot of people i know. Have been wearing them for some ten years now. What i have realise now, is that no doubt my glasses help me see the world around me clearer, they obscure my vision of the world i think about.

Countless times it has happened that when im sitting and ideating with my glasses on, i cannot enter the world i think in, and as soon as i remove them, i can.

Anybody feels the same?

Comments welcome.

2010-02-09T17:03:00.000+05:30

Im so happy. Dear friend mervyn has finally decided to answer the call.
Hum dono ab copywriters.
Yay!

2010-02-01T18:32:00.000+05:30

Sisyphus

It happens often. The identification with Sisyphus. Leading to a plunge into thoughts that I assume are the same he must have had.

What was so bad about what he had been condemned to do for eternity? Was it the weight of the boulder, the steepness of the slope; the fact that it rolled back again, the condemnation which meant he had to do it again? Or is it the unbelievable thought that, even if somehow, the Gods freed him, he would continue doing it, because that boulder and hill are now his way of life. Because, without the two, he wouldn’t know what to do with his life.

2010-01-07T13:30:00.000+05:30

For the millionth time,
"Im back!"

Another year goes by. Flicking the calendar page wont do. It's time to get a new one.

Thinking back on the year gone by, makes me realise that I have grown. Grown old, some would say. I would like to stick to just grown. Turned out to be quite an important year of my life. My first proper pay-cheque came through. Celebrated Mom n Dad's 25th anniversary in great style. Almost managed to shoot my first TVC but got stalled last minute because the production guys didnt have time. Im certain it will happen early this year.

My dear buddy also embarked on his professional journey which im sure will be a long and fruitful one, considering the depths of his talents and enthusiasm. I wish him all the luck.

Sassy finally moved on to a bigger and better position. I hear that her Boss wants her to take up a leadership role. Knowing her the way I do, im certain she wont disappoint. Looking ahead to a lot more by-lines and i secretly want to see her shift to the telly. She will be fab.

Personally, life has been good. I would like to believe that I now have the 'special someone' I was looking for. Still early days to be sure, but then in these matters, one can never be too sure, can they?

The food-prices are killing the middle-class. Quite a worry. Hope that gets fixed this year. Expectantly, the cheque doesnt look that good anymore. Expenses are slowly exceeding income and that calls for an increment, which quite frankly, isnt going to happen. So, thats a worry.

Dont have any coherent thoughts at the moment. Looking ahead at this year as the one that will fulfill some more dreams.

Watch this space.

2009-07-30T00:05:00.000+05:30

It's been long. Long enough that i have forgotten how long it has been.
I have learnt much. Learnt so much that i have forgotten what i have learnt.

Life sometimes, comes to a standstill. Nothing and no one makes sense at that time. You have nothing to look forward to and nothing that you want to look back to. It's at times like this that you realise the benefits of sleeping and eating. Sleeping so much that you dont have enough time to ponder over how screwed your life is. Eating so much that you can skip the next meal and sleep through it.

Suddenly, you realise how lonely you really are. It doesn't help when your phone rings, you frantically rush to take the call, only to realise that it's Vodafone trying to sell you a Value Added Service wherein a girl called Natasha seductively asks you, "Akele ho? tanha ho? Mujhse dosti karoge? Sirf 6 rupaye prati minute". I wonder wheres the Value in that VAS.

It's at times like these that you get addicted to stupid mindless games on Facebook, which lets you be all that you always wanted to, but would never be -- A lawbreaker, powerful and rich. You attack other mafias, you rob them, you send contract killers after them, supply guns to the russian mob, get rich, buy mega casinos and the list goes on.

You also realise that reality TV could be fun, especially when it takes petite and docile bahus out of Ekta Kapoor serials and Kanjivaram sarees and puts them into a 'jungle' in figure hugging tees and hot pants, forcing them to take baths wearing two piece bikinis under a fake water fall.
You are also remimded that mankind, as a rule, is voyeuristic by nature and no matter how saintly we may project ourselves to be, we all get kicks out of knowing if a certain sexagenarian has had sex with a whore and a woman younger than his own daughter, who happens to be sitting in front of him when he is answering the question.

This is also the time when every little strange sound and every little malfunctioning switch in your vehicles starts bothering you no end and trips to the mechanic, suddenly become the most important thing you do in teh whole day.

You shout Eureka, when you find an obscure channel that your cable operator is being forced to beam into your home by the I&B Ministry called Lok Sabha channel and you laugh and worry about the state of the nation when our esteemed Parliamentarians 'piecefully' debate over the message shows like Baalika Vadhu and Sach ka Saamna are sending across to the 117 crore immature infants that constitute this nation when 67mm of rain sends the national capital region into a tizzy with traffic jams over 120 locations and water logging in the entire city including the newly built international airport that costed a whopping 900 crores.

One last thing that you realise exactly at this momment is, that you have an opinion over anything and everything in this world, but you are just too lazy to do anything about it.

2009-07-29T23:58:00.000+05:30

Do you know the single biggest danger mankind faces today? Something more dangerous than global terrorism, the economic recession, climate, vagaries of nature and teh ilk combined? Something that can wipe out the entire mankind ?

It's sloth! I have been attacked. Its dangerous because you dont realise that it has got you. It like a hallucinogen, which lulls you into a sense of comfort, a sense of security, all the time consuming from inside.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

2009-07-10T18:14:00.000+05:30

Breaking a long fast from blogging with two epiphanies i recently had over painstakingly long bike commutes (wanted to write 'bike rides', but sadly, commutes are what they actually are) and a 15 day long movie marathon where i almost managed to watch all the movies being played on HBO and Star Movies, sometimes even watching two movies at the same time.

Well anyway, enough of details. The epiphanies go like this.
1. You realise what all you really know only when you have to know it.

2. When you are in love with a person you dont really like, then its not really love. Think again.

Hope it makes sense to you.

Hopefully, blogging will be more regular now.

2008-10-30T21:16:00.000+05:30

Some lessons in life--
1.A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
2.A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
3.The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
4.Nice guys finish last.
5.There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
6.Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
7.The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
8.Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
9.It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
10.Love is a hole in the heart.
11.Love comes in spurts.
12.There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
13.Although it may seem like that on the outside, no one is having fun being single
14.Being taken attracts women. Being single makes them avoid you like the plague.
15.If it seems perfect today, tomorrow it will end.
16.As soon as you break up the man (or woman) who couldn't commit TO YOU will get married.
17.Being told your the nicest guy they know is the kiss of death.
18.Being told that someone doesn't want to date you because you're such a good friend, is like being told that you didn't get the job because you're overqualified
19.A girlfriend is like a credit card, if you have one it's easier to get a new one

Nicked them from somewhere...posted those with which i found some resonance.

2008-09-01T18:35:00.000+05:30

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhCRRR39K3Q

check out this ad. effective to say the least.

2008-08-12T12:57:00.000+05:30

Nights is the order of the day!

2 months in advertising and people ask me what have i learnt. Not much to put in words i say, but the one thing i have certainly learnt is that work seldom happens in any ad agency during the day. The day is reserved for chatting, gossiping,music,surfing, socialising eating, smoking, tea, coffee, games, chips, kurkure...in short anything but work! The work happens only when the sun sets and the nocturnals come out.

2008-08-05T03:56:00.000+05:30

Date: 05/08/08

Time: 3:56 A.M.

Place: Office

Its been more than three months since i last posted on this blog. Life has turned 360 degress. From getting admission into a journo course at the oh-so-prestigious IIMC i have turned into an ad man. Well, not exactly, because of the small technicality of not getting paid! Im doing all the work, but not getting any of teh moolah. Not much to complain about if i take it as a course or training im taking to learn the tricks of the trade, without paying any fees. So, in a way, its not really a bad deal. People pay lakhs to study ad making at MICA, and here i am learning it while working at MICA's parent body, Mudra in Delhi. So, all in all, im happy.

Have got an important meeting in teh morning, and im the only writer left in office, so i cant even go to sleep. Neend, itni aa rahi hai ki ideas ab sookh gaye hain, so keeping myself awake by blabbering away on this blog. Life's rocking. There could not have been any other profession more suited for the life i want to lead. Have made some real good friends and the people at the office are wonderful! Learning new things every minute, and the minute somebody asks me what i have learnt, i draw a blank. That's irony for you!

Dont know what else to write, and seriously, im so sleepy hat i dont even know what im typing so please excuse any typos!

2008-04-17T13:41:00.000+05:30

Often as he talked to her came the thickening and quickening of his blood, that peculiar cncentration in the breast, as if something were alive there, a new self or a new centre of consciousness...

2008-03-13T23:39:00.000+05:30

blogging after one whole month...time just flies...a month, three whole years...all of it seems like yesterday...
Farewell tomorrow, and after that its all over...the new song "College Days" keeps playing in loop,on my pc, on my cell, in my head..."im going to miss this place im going to miss my college days...."
saala! dont even feel like writing about it. enough.

2008-02-15T20:00:00.000+05:30

Sitting in front of the pc, logged on to Blogger, LP playing in the background, trying to think about something worth writing,trying to recall what it was that I was thinking about in the bus, when I had made a mental note to myself that this can be an interesting topic to write on...I draw a ______

Set out for college today, did not reach college. Ended up going somewhere else...I really dont intend to write about the trials and tribulations of a 20 year old on the verge of entering the big bad real world...weighing his options,trying to understand what he really wants from life, is it creative satisfaction or money that takes higher priority...is it worth taking the risk...questions abound, answers become elusive...as elusive as the ubiquitous cigarette seller has become in the campus...

Things look bleak...morose...melancholic...these are the words that are coming to my mind...oh! I suddenly remember what I had been thinking about in the bus...it was just one word that lead me to think, it was FUTILE...there come these phases in one's life(they come in mine, so I assume thay must be coming in your's too!) when suddenly everything seems futile,things lose their meaning to be replaced by the feeling of futility,ineffectuality,a hollowness,a pointlessness,uselessness.You feel like doing something that usually makes you happy but then suddenly it strikes you that even being happy is futile, that its just a short span of time when you will be 'happy' and then again you will slip back into the same feeling of desolation. Eating,unless really starving,seems futile. Fulfilling 'wishes' seems futile.It drags to the point where even thinking seems futile. Its in times like these that one can really see the world for what it is,can really try to know one's own desires...I realise that what im writing may seem gibberish...whats the point of thinking about it? Its futile!

Suddenly, a new song starts playing, its "What a wondeful world" by Louis Armstrong. Hope.

I see trees of green........ red roses too
I see em bloom..... for me and for you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue..... clouds of white
Bright blessed days....dark sacred nights
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are also on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin......i love you.

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
Theyll learn much more.....than Ill never know
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are there on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin...*spoken*(I ....love....you).

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
*spoken*(you know their gonna learn
A whole lot more than Ill never know)
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself .......what a wonderful world.

2008-02-12T21:09:00.000+05:30

Indifference

I would have loved her scorn,her hate but the indifference kills me...its like the past never existed...like im meeting someone new,with the formality of tone and manner that comes with a new acquaintance, but also present is the sense that something somewhere is amiss,that hope, that anticipation that comes with a new relationship is non-existent and in its place is present an unknown, unseen, undefined barrier...

Ms.Iyer, i will try...one last time.

2008-02-10T21:47:00.000+05:30

State of mind : CONFLICT

The misery continues. As the F.R.I.E.N.D.S song says, my love life is D.O.A., I have no clue as to what my future is going shape up like, hell, i dont even know what i want to do in life. If anyone was to ask me today as to what i want from life, all i would be able to answer back will be a sheepish grin and the word "money!".
Now, people, dont get me wrong, im not one of those insolent money chasing capitalists who consider money the only thing worth spending their useless lives for, NO, im certainly not one of them. But the fact remains that, except for the complete ascetic, each and every individual needs money, and a suffecient amount of it taking into consideration the condition of the economy these days! Hell, a decent dinner for an average family of four at an ok-ok restaurent comes for nothing less than a thousand bucks these days.Im not going to rant on about the inflation and all...I assume people already know enough of it.

Anyway,what i really wanted to write about in this post was personal relationships as the interests section in my profile will tell you that im interested in the nitty-gritties of relationships,not necessarily mine. Now, my next door neighbours are an average urban family of three,husband,wife and their young 5 year old son. Bhaiya is a pleasant man, always smiling, an IT guy working in a software firm. Bhabhi is a housewife bringing up her son as well as her sister-in-law's when she goes to her workplace.The lady is never seen but with a smile on her face and a pleasnt countenence born of a good upbringing and sound education. She could well have been doing some nice job somewhere and earning thousands a month. In short, they present a picture of the happy and educated middle class family.

Now, what set me thinking was when i saw their newly installed name plate outside their door.The pride of place on the nameplate was occupied by a certain Dr.something,who i knew for a fact was no-one who lived there. The name below was that of Bhaiya, and then i realised that the gentleman whose name was written above was bhaiya's father. I felt bad, real bad that bhabhi's name was not mentioned on the nameplate anywhere as it should have been because she is the one who is a part of the effort that goes into buying a house and then going through the years of monthly loan repayments, often at the expense of a saree she might have liked at the store window but was too afraid to buy as it may disturb the monthly budget or something she wanted to buy to use in the kitchen, that would reduce the effort and time she puts in the kitchen a little. The thought drifted out of my mind as quickly as it had come.

Then recently i saw an advertisement on the telly, the one promoting LIC housing finance. As soon as i saw it,i was immediately reminded of the nameplate outside bhaiya's house. The ad shows a family's journey from the time when it lives in a small house, somehow manages to give his son a sound education, even erects a partition in his own room so that his son may have some privacy,have something to call a room of his own. the son grows up, gets a good job,marries,moves out and then his old parents come to visit him in his new house, his OWN house. The father takes out a nameplate bearing his son's name as a gift and the son says, "iski koi zarurat nahi hai papa..." followed by the mother pointing towards the door which has a nameplate bearing the name of the father. In an instant it became clear to me that the nameplate with the name of his father was not a means of furthering patriarchy nor belittling his wife, but it was his tribute, in his own small manner to his father who made it possible for him to be able to buy his own house, stand on his own feet, as they say. Here is the link if anyone wants to see the advertisement.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rF0IGyJjMf4

I may not be sure of my future or what i intend to do with my life, but one thing im sure of is that whenever i buy my own house, its nameplate will read the name of my father, followed by that of my mother. The two people who made me possible.

2008-02-09T22:43:00.000+05:30

Sometimes inaction is the most difficult of the actions

These days im prompted to action by someone,who is doing certain things which make me go weak...prompted to an action which when it will complete its full course will make me repent because i would have betrayed the one thing which i pride myself upon, my devotion and complete trust in the power of reason, of logic. The few compliments i have recieved in this uneventful and unremarkable life of mine have mostly been about my ability to see things logicaly and act accordingly.

The thing which is now bothering me is that im reading a very powerful text these days, Atlas Shrugged, one which exerts man's absolute and completely uncompromisable right to attain happiness without any regard to teh false notions created by teh 'intellectuals' of teh world. although not exactly facing the condition which the protagonists in the text are facing, but at the basic level, it does boil down to one attaining happiness. What is standing between me and my happiness is my own devotion to logic and the truth, my own truth. I dont know what im going to do. whether i will hold tight to my support of reason or if the storm of emotions about to erupt in me will be powerful enough to break the foundation of my being.
Whatever be the case, i believe that i will come out of it having learned something, after all what does not kill you only makes you stronger!

2008-02-08T21:22:00.000+05:30

All you cancerian girls out there...im up for grabs! come one come all!

Your True Love Is a Cancer

Why you'll love a Cancer:

Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt.
Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up!

Why a Cancer will love you:

You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs.
A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

2008-02-08T21:09:00.000+05:30

Coincidences just dont startle me anymore...few days back i realised that ms.iyer and me had the same calvin and hobbes strip in our orkut scrapbooks for almost an year...come to think of it,what are the odds of both of us chosing the same strip from teh hundreds that are there. And now, i realise that we both are yellow colour (whatever that means!) Im waiting for more coincidences...

You Are a Yellow Crayon

Your world is colored with happy, warm, fun colors.
You have a thoughtful and wise way about you. Some people might even consider you a genius.
Charming and eloquent, you are able to get people to do things your way.
While you seem spontaneous and free wheeling, you are calculating to the extreme.

Your color wheel opposite is purple. You both are charismatic leaders, but purple people act like you have no depth.

What Color Crayon Are You?

2008-02-04T21:02:00.000+05:30

Somebody intelligent once told me that the first crop after a piece of land is kept fallow, almost always turns out to be a bumper crop...and that writer's block is like when the mind is fallow and is being replenished with minerals for the bumper crop. My take on this is, that land is cultivated for major part of the year and kept fallow for a shorter duration, similarly the mind should be working for the major part and remain fallow for a shorter duration...in other words, writing should be the norm and writer's block the exception, in my case its completely opposite! its an exception when i write! :(

Today is one of those exceptional days, not only because im writing but also because i met an amazing person today...amazing because of her clarity of thought,her strong resolve,her bindaas attitude and not to mention an exceptional ability of expressing herself! Wont write paeans for her...varna sar pe chadh jayegi!
were chatting for the better part of four hours and missed out on a hundred topics because of paucity of time!

I keep making these mental notes all through the day, even when im s(h)itting in the loo, of thoughts i have which are worthy of being put into words, of phrases which i accidentally coin and find some merit in, of observations that i make in the course of my daily life and then end up writing about none of them! Pure laziness coupled with a loss of purpose and aim sure spell the recipe to disaster. Hopefully, now i have started, will be going some distance.

Presently reading Atlas Shrugged ny Ayn Rand, one of the more memorable lines from the book go something like this--
"The worse sort of moral depravity is a man without a purpose"
I wonder why Rand's books compel me to hate and feel contempt for the one individual whom i would most like to love, myself.

These were some of the random thoughts that deserved cyber space. I hope more will follow!
till then, for the one or two readers of this blog,
HAPPY BLOGGING!

2007-12-29T17:12:00.000+05:30

Yet another post from Grad Diaries...

Jaane kahan gaye woh din.....

Mervyn wont let this blogging remain happy... apparently, highly unemotional, he may seem. But, trust you all me, with his words he can make anyone cry.

Last night, for reasons, some known some unknown and then, some which i know but choose to 'un-know'...I was in a melancholic mood. The load of all that is going through in our combined lives since the past few days was suddenly getting too much for me to handle.I smsed my emotional support, Sassy telling her of my predicament, but as luck would have it, despite resending the sms thrice, it just would not get delivered (the length of the sms did not help matters much. it was about three normal sms' long). Exasperated, i finaly called her up. But, could not talk for long as she herself was in a bad state, unable to exercise her vocal chords much.She hung up, and me in dire need of some comforting words lay turning in my bed (no sexual connotations there).

And then out of the blue, my mobile buzzed and i saw '1 missed call' on my screen. Without even checking, i knew who could it be. At 12.30 at night, it could only be 'Jerk' aka Mervyn.I poured out my hearts contents to him. he replied, he was also in the same boat. We comforted each other. Following is the script of one of the sms he sent to me, in reply to one I sent him. I will try to save this as long as my beaten mobile allows me to. here it is for all of you to read.

"I'll save this,so I retreat to it,when we all wont see each other for long.It'll keep me close to the images of our graduation so deeply embedded in my mind. I don't know if odrs r realy thinking bout it,cz i start breaking up 2evn think ofit.I can visualiz leavng 4work n d DTC pas by,wud bring bak d smothering nostalgia.wen i'd feel so much n I'd fail2 do anything but mesg u n say "I saw d Spcl go by.Mising d times". it's going2 b hard,dis tim."
Sent:
12-Aug-2007
01:11:46

We both shed a tear after this, in our own rooms, on our own beds, separated by some 8-9 kms. a distance that could be traversed in less than 20 minutes at the dead of the night. But, a distance that threatens to grow as time passes on, leaving in its wake, millions of memories that will make us cry and laugh when we chose to remember them. I for one, will always be close by, if not to all of you, then atleast to some of you. When we are all grown up, and we meet again some time some place, with me having a beer mug in my hand and Merv with his coke mug, we will think back on these days and we will try and laugh on what we had and what more we could have had....

Oh, and another miracle happened last night. You know, when something you are sub-consciously wishing for to happen, but deep inside you know that theres as much chance of it happening as there is of BJP and the Congress forming a coalition...and then it happens of its own accord. It happened to me last night.I was chatting with Merv about -------, and silently sub-conscioulsy wishing for her to contact me...at 1.10 at night, thats even more improbable than the BJP-Congress thing, because for one, she sleeps at something like 11PM and another, even if she is awake, she would rather contact someone else at the time than me. And, it happened. i got an sms, "U awake?" at 1.09.Although we did not chat much, and nothing that would have made me terribly happy, it still was one of my wish that came true!

Strange are the games life plays with us!
I bet my last rupee that Merv, for one, will 'vouch' for it! ;)

I dont know what I will do once graduation ends...wish I could remain in campus with my friends forever... :(

2007-12-29T16:36:00.000+05:30

Another post from 'Graduation Diaries', my other blog or rather our other blog...this one is probably the most emotional piece I have ever written...each word is straight from the heart, cliched but true! I truly owe a thousand apologies.

A Letter of Apology

To,
Mervyn Samuel George

I vaguely remember when I first met you. It was the second day of college, maybe the 17 of July ’05. Almost all the class was sitting outside the canteen in a huge circle. I approached hesitantly. All the prim n propah guys n girls fashionably turned out for college gave me the shudders. And then I saw you sitting in your nonchalant way with the extremely shitty bag that you used to carry before you got this nice one. Something bout you endeared you instantly to me. I came near you, pulled out a chair and sat. A little out of the huge circle, I still did not belong!

During the next few days I came to know that we both came from East Delhi…we started commuting together. Gradually our friendship strengthened…we became inseparable. Never seen, save in the company of each other. We have our plans, we intend to go our ways after graduation…me to some journalism school and your plan being, being unplanned as always, letting life take it’s own course! But we intend to slow down and meet at the countless stop signs in life. At your place, with our respective wives, besides us (I Agree brother, wives on laps-Not a good idea!) nursing our glasses of beer and coke gazing at the clear night sky. Reminiscing about ‘The Days’ and getting seeped in nostalgia.

But through these two years and some months, there have been countless incidents for which I have to apologise. I know you understand the position that I was in, but that does not make my repeated mistakes any smaller. Yes, im talking about the millions of times I have left you because I had to go with -------. Sometimes to CP, sometimes to some other place, for any reason, on any pretext. I went. Because you know that I was intoxicated. Intoxicated with hope. You never complained. Never stopped me. Maybe you thought I had a chance…maybe you always knew that things will never work out between ------- and me. The important part is you allowed me to do whatever I wanted to. Iam being honest, I always thought that ours was THE guy thing. That I need not even think twice about whether I should accompany her and leave you alone. In retrospect, I know I was wrong. Not in going with her, but in leaving you alone. And im terribly sorry for that brother. I know I have wronged you. I accept it.

Now the more painful part. I know iam still doing it. I know that I keep saying that im over all that happened, and believe me I am. But I also know that I have just 5 more months…and after that there wont be any more trips to CP to buy slippers. Iam weak. I cant control that part of me which still loves -------. You, of all people know it best. I want to get the MAX out of it. Maybe that’s why you named me MAX.

I wanted to write about so many things and memories shared between us, but at the moment, words fail me. I did it again today. I read your sms last night, but did not reply. Because you know sometimes there are not any words to express yourself. I misbehaved in the morning…because I wanted you to know that I did not like your idea of a birthday gift. But believe me, the look on your face when you were leaving the college and I was with you, it left me restless. At that moment, I knew that I had hurt you more than you did me with your gift. Im SORRY BHAI. I really am.

I know this is the first major hurdle that we have had to cross. We will cross it easily.
I have FAITH. In you. In myself. And, most importantly, in that strange bond we share, where sometimes, even words are not needed.

Yours Aplogetically
'Max'

2007-12-29T00:08:00.000+05:30

I have always believed in the freedom of expression...be it by me or any other individual,be it in a discussion I'm having with friends or be it a work of art,literary or pictorial by some artist. The recent uproar over the treatment being meted out to Taslima Nasreen by the West Bengal government and the Central Government pandering to a handful of fundamentalists disturbed me. I read Vir Sanghvi's article in Sunday's Hindustan Times and quite agreed with him that India must extend her visa...this is what he said :
"If we revoke Taslima’s visa then we are simply giving in to the rule of the mob and allowing intolerant religious leaders to hijack the basis of our liberal society. If it is Taslima they target today, it will be you and me tomorrow."
"So what does one do? My position is that we have to let her stay. Otherwise we demean ourselves as a nation. It doesn’t matter what we think of her writing or her love of publicity; the principle is more important than the person."

The regular incidents of shiv sainiks and VHP workers protesting and disrupting exhibitions of M.F.Hussain and other artists always earned a disapproval from me and a frown or two. Then, today I read an article by Arun Shourie in The Indian Express...an article about Hindutva and Islamist Extremism and the mistake pseudo secularists and uninformed liberals do of equating them, keeping them on the same platform. The article proved to be quite an eye-opener. Here is the link for all who would like to go through it -- http://www.indianexpress.com/story/254969.html

Shourie makes a very valid point, which I, due to my ignorance and lack of years had failed to see. He says,
"It has almost become routine to slight Hindu sentiments — our smart-set do not even notice the slights they administer. Recall the jibe of decades: ‘the Hindu rate of growth’. When, because of those very socialist policies that their kind had swallowed and imposed on the country, our growth was held down to 3-4 per cent, it was dubbed — with much glee — as ‘the Hindu rate of growth’. Today, we are growing at 9 per cent. And, if you are to believe the nonsense in Sachar’s report, the minorities are not growing at all. So, who is responsible for this higher rate of growth? The Hindus! How come no one calls this higher rate of growth ‘the Hindu rate of growth’? Simple: dubbing the low rate as the Hindu one established you to be secular; not acknowledging the higher one as the Hindu rate establishes you to be secular!"

Im a proud Hindu.That does not mean that I'm a chest beating,slogan shouting, muslim hating supporter of Narendra Modi or that i justify the Gujarat genocide. It means that i accept all the religions with their differences and similarities to my own. That is the true essence of Hinduism, and infact of all the Indic religions-- Sikhism,Jainism and Buddhism.

Now, coming to the issue that prompted me to make this post. Shourie says:
"Or M.F. Husain. He is a kindly man, and a prodigiously productive artist. There is no warrant at all for disrupting all his exhibitions. I am on the point of sensibilities. His depictions of Hindu goddesses have been in the news: he has painted them in less than skimpy attire. I particularly remember one in which Sita is riding Hanuman’s stiffened tail — of course, she is scarcely clad, but that is the least of it: you need no imagination at all to see what she is rubbing up against that stiffened tail. Well, in the case of an artist, that is just inspiration, say the secularists. OK. The question that arises then is: How come in the seventy-five years Husain has been painting, he has not once felt inspired, not once, to paint the face of the Prophet? It doesn’t have to be in the style in which he has painted the Hindu goddesses. Why not the most beautiful, the most radiant and luminous face that he can imagine? How come he has never felt inspired to paint women revered in Islam, or in his own family, in the same style as the one that propelled his inspiration in regard to Hindu goddesses?"

Now,although aware that Hussain had made some objectionable paintings of Hindu Gods and Goddesses, I had never actually taken the pains to know what exactly he had painted.Immediately I googled "hussain sita hanuman" and found the picture accompanying this post.I reserve my own views about it, the readers are free to have their own.

The thing that bothers me is not that Hussain painted such a painting or that Taslima Nasreen wrote something derogatory about Islam in her book, its the attitude of the self proclaimed secularists of our country,who squirm when someone says something derogatory against Islam and start shouting that public sentiments are being hurt in the name of freedom of expression but turn a blind eye when a Hussain paints sita,that epitome of purity and chastity, rubbing her you-know-what on hanuman's stiffened tail. Its the vote-bank politics that troubles me.

2007-12-16T23:36:00.000+05:30

followed a link...got to this...its almost the only result with which i agree...thats my drink...bring it on!

What Kind of Drink Are You?
	You are a Whiskey on the Rocks. You are tough and you know it. It takes a long time for people to get to know you but you wouldn't have it any other way. You don't care what people think, but sometimes that turns people off of you.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

2007-12-15T23:53:00.000+05:30

Was going through the other blog of mine,the one where all of us friends posted collectively and came up with a few posts that I would like to share with people who read my blog...its kind of personal, so some details have been omitted.

"People, im confused and i need your opinion. It will be appreciated,rest assured.

We are all literature students, well, atleast the active people on the blog are( shame on those who are not, active, i meant, not literature students).Our work is to dwell upon the written word. Ngugi and VC's discourse on language and the cultural connotations it has, although tend to get boring and very intellectual at times, but are still very informative and teach a lot of valuable lessons. Valuable not only in our academic life but also in our day-to-day life.

Now, the thing I am confused about is can we take the words we and the others speak at their face value? Can we rigidly ascribe meanings and feelings to them, which we have been taught to assign to those words?Can it not be that people, while using the words are themselves unaware of the meanings and the feelings those words convey?And if, because of those misplaced meanings and feelings, there arises a massive miusnderstanding between friends and lovers, then who is to blame?

Can it not be that some people just use the words without giving profound thought to the meaning those words will convey to the person who recieves them? How can people be so banal in attitude when they talk and communicate?

I take utmost care when I speak and sms, to use just the right words and i know people just like me who likewise take adequate care to be economical in their words and use just the right words when conveying their feelings. Why cant everyone be like that?

Is not our society and indeed our whole life based on the premise that people say what they mean and if, later confronted with what they said, stand up to it and if need be defend themselves honourably for what they said?If we could just shrug off all the questions with the customary "I did not mean that, i meant something different!" or "you misunderstood!" or "I was joking. I really did not mean that"would not our already complicated lives get still more complicated and quarrelsome?

I got an sms, the contents of which, if i take seriously, and ascribe the meanings which are generally ascribed to the words used in the sms, then i could be looking at the definite end of a long relationship...which although not emotionally fulfilling but nonetheless is a cherished one beacuse it taught me much about human nature and the nitty-gritties of romantic "relationships"!

Please answer my question. Can words be taken at their face value?"

Will anyone venture an answer?

2007-12-09T23:43:00.000+05:30

The spell is broken...
Authentic creative writing shall be back shortly on the blog...
Diligent readers (if any!) do not despair...
For I have returned!
Like a phoenix, I rise from the ashes with the promise of polluting the cyber space with shitty creative prose and even more creative and even more shittier poetry(thats a new for me :-))...
Watch out...
For here comes The Boy who Loved! (For the uninitiated, thats a pun on the name of the first chapter of the Harry potter series, The Boy who lived.)

P.S.
For Sassy: the name at the end (the boy who loved) has been added only for pun value and holds no emotional value whatsoever!)

2007-11-30T23:04:00.000+05:30

"The isolation produced by Existentialist value decisions also explains why few Existentialists are self-identified as such. Calling someone an "Existentialist" imposes an essence on them, telling them what they are. This violates their absolute autonomy and freedom and makes it sound like they actually have something important in common with some other people, other Existentialists. This is intolerable."

Existentialism has suddenly started making a whole lot of sense!

2007-07-19T19:51:00.000+05:30

where will u be ?
I have been ill since the past 2-3 months. I have been suffering from this disease since the past 7 years or so but lately the symptoms have got stronger and am struggling to lead a normal life. I cant concentrate on the activities i am supposed to do. I can’t sleep peacefully. I have got an OCD of checking out all the zillions of sites and communities related to this illness (yes, it’s an epidemic; millions are suffering from it all over the world). Since the past 3-4 nights I have even started dreaming about it. Dreams in vivid details, dreams which I can recall completely when I wake up; dreams which have on occasions made me wake up with a start. I am suffering from the illness called Harry Potter.

With the date of its unveiling coming nearer by the minute, my life has been thrown into a tizzy. I am spending every waking minute anticipating the rush of adrenaline when I will unwrap the book and start reading it on 21st July. It seems that the clocks have slowed down. I am constantly surfing the net for news which will confirm that the stories of leaks and the various spoilers are all fake. It seems as if my life depends upon it. That if the spoilers are indeed true and that when I open the book and realize that the names of the chapters are the same which are currently circulating on the internet, then am going to have a breakdown.

I am waiting for the 21st. If somebody asks me what will u be doing on Saturday night, I won’t be ashamed to admit that I will be at home, snuggled up in my bed with a cold coffee, reading. For once, staying at home will be fashionable for many anxious youngsters like me. I am waiting for the magic to begin. Are you?

2007-07-05T00:00:00.000+05:30

SOCIAL UPLIFTMENT OR DISCRIMINATION?

Reservations and quotas seem to be the much used and even more abused tools of the authorities these days. The stir created by the 27.5% reservation for OBC’s had not even settled when the whole of Northern India was held to ransom by the Gujjars and the Meenas , with one group demanding up gradation from one list to another and the other group opposing it. And as soon as the issue was settled, came the announcement from the oh-so-prestigious St.Stephens College, declaring a 10% reservation for the Dalit Christians, effectively leaving just 40% of its seats for the general category students.

Immediately following the announcement by the College, countless talk shows and debates have been organized by the various news channels (which, by the way are springing up like mushrooms in the rainy season). Many of the illustrious alumni of the esteemed institution have vociferously protested against the move, and the man against the move, Rev.Thampu.

The question being put up by everyone is that the move will alter the very character of the institution, its ethos and its values. Although being staunchly against reservations and quotas, I find this reason a little far fetched. If 50% reservation, that was being followed till now, did not alter the character and the ethos, how will a further 10% reservation do it, is beyond my comprehension.

Another issue that was being raised was that the standards of excellence that the college has achieved would be compromised when students are admitted on the basis of their being Dalit Christians, rather than on merit. I was quite convinced by this argument, till I heard what Rev.Thampu had to say about it. He said that merit, in itself is not objective but subjective. A student of say, DPS RK Puram, having a 95%, with the help of the excellent faculty he has at his school to guide him, the exorbitantly over-paid coaching institute to fine tune him and the zillions of costly books that he has access to, MAY have the same merit as a student who has studied all his life in the small village school, which barely manages to run and has a few and ill-qualified teachers, who has tattered and outdated older editions of even the basic textbooks, but has still managed a 75% in his exams. It is the duty of the institution to provide the latter a chance to realize his potential by giving him the best possible facilities.

The greatness of an educational institution is not in taking in 95% per centers and churning out toppers in the university exams. It lies in making the 75% per center able enough to get a 95%

2007-07-04T23:34:00.000+05:30

great rendition of an equally great song!

2007-06-30T00:13:00.001+05:30

2007-06-30T00:12:00.001+05:30

2007-06-30T00:09:00.000+05:30

2007-06-20T16:37:00.001+05:30

"FATHER, SON AND A WHOLE LOT OF AFFECTION"
Although not too much of a K Jo fan, one of his flicks did strike a chord with me. It was Kabhie khushi kabhie gham, spelt with those inexplicable extra E's. The movie's catchline, "its all about loving your parents" proved to be the clincher. In the movie, Amitabh Bachchan in that deep baritone of his, says something like its normal for a mother to express her love for her son and for a son to express his love for his mother by hugging and the usual gestures but its very difficult for a father or a son to express their love for each other by hugging or pecking each other.

During a rare frank discussion with my mother, I told her how peeved I was with my father because of the way he just turned down one of my request without even looking into the merits and demerits of it. My mother after initially squirming at the thought of siding with me against her husband, finally ended the session with a depressed look uttering something which sounded like, "we cannot even fulfill the demands of our children." The session only helped in making me feel guilty about telling her all about what transpired between father and me.
Parents are representatives of God on earth, they say. Well, the proverb doesn't really mention parents but mothers, but I do not think fathers are any less. Our parents do so much for us throughout their lives. They bring us into this world, feed us, teach us and help us stand up on our feet. Our entire value system is formed by what we have seen and heard at home. The way our parents behave with each other, and the world outside, moulds our behaviour. One can go on and on about the contributions of our parents. Its sad that some ungrateful fools actually turn against their parents at the time when they need it the most, in their old age. It was summed up beautifully by Leonid S. Sukhorukov, "We start off playing with our babies, but they end up toying with us."
I understand that whatever I am going to say would have been better said in the house rather than in da house, but still im putting it here. Parent's day , mother's day or father's day is not round the corner but one does not need any special day to express their love and gratitude to their parents.I still remember the time my mother spent in making me understand that the key to spell correctly was to understand the sounds of the words, way back in primary classes. The lesson was instilled so nicely into me that never in my whole life have I had difficulty with spellings. I also remember the day my father changed the 'Champak' subscription from hindi to English and the fit I threw thereafter. Its all because of small events like these that I have reached somewhere in life. I never acknowledge your efforts in front of you, but that does not mean that I do not recognize them. Thanks a ton ma and pa, you mean the world to me.

2007-06-05T15:54:00.000+05:30

This piece came was published alongwith my mugshot :)

THE WRITTEN WORD
To see my name in print has always given me a strange kind of feeling, infact now, I can even say that it makes me high. I still remember when once as a child, my father got those white name slips printed with my name and class, to stick upon my notebooks, I would keep gazing over them and I believe, even caress them with my small fingers. With the pressure of studies in the higher classes, the fascination with the written word got subdued by the need of getting good marks. After flirting with danger( read, coaching for medical entrance) for two years, I chose the safe path. So, I think it came as no surprise when I opted to study literature for my bachelors and chose journalism as the way to earn my bread and butter!

THE BEGINNING
The first few days of my internship were uneventful, spent observing other people go about their job and surfing the net. The first incident that I was told to cover, happened to be an accident. Quite an auspicious start to my career, I must say! Two young cyclists had been mowed down by a blueline bus and one of them was dead. I went to the Police Station, Ram Manohar Lohia Hospital and then back to the Police Station. My adventure involved haggling with the hospital staff for information, who directed me to the mortuary and the ever-so-helpful (pun intended) officials of the Delhi Police. With the help of a friend, I thankfully managed to scrape through some information. I came back to the Office and after pestering the seniors with a number of irritating questions as to how I should write the story, how lengthy should it be, what tone should it have, et al I filed a decent and concise report.

The first thing I did next morning was to search for my name in the paper, and right there it was on the third page. Under the big picture of the monster bus and above the largely edited report, was printed my name in bold letters. My joy knew no bounds. Since then, I have had a few bylines, written about parking problems, water problems, lover’s problems and what not, but the first one always remains special. The only qualm that remains is that my good news was also a family’s bad news, news that shattered their lives and broke all their dreams.

2007-06-05T15:44:00.000+05:30

"We start off playing with our babies, but they end up toying with us." --Leonid S. Sukhorukov,

something that i found on wikiquote. makes a whole lot of sense, sadly. :(

2007-05-02T02:13:00.000+05:30

"And suddenly, in the middle of the central nave, I realize something very important: the cathedral is me, it is all of us. We are all growing and changing shape, we notice certain weaknesses that need to be corrected, we don’t always choose the best solution, but we carry on regardless, trying to remain upright and decent, in order to do honor not to the walls or the doors or the windows, but to the empty space inside, the space where we worship and venerate what is dearest and most important to us. "
Paulo Coelho
The Zahir

Can anybody put things in perspective better? what has happened to that inner space in majority of us?

2007-03-26T01:31:00.000+05:30

JUDGEMENT DAY
Ever since befriending sassy, her constant complaint about people has been that they judge other people! i found it a genuine reason to be angry about in the begining, but turning it over in my head, i have reached the conclusion that all of of us judge people, whether consciously, unconsciously or sub-consciously.... come to think about it, how can we carry on with our daily life if we dont judge and categorise people? i mean, we cant behave in the same way with everyone, can we? we decide our conduct with people depending upon the judgement we have made about them.
Its not like im opposing sassy(she knows i would not dare do that even in my dreams)its what i have interpreted from her constant railings that iam opposing. maybe i have not under understood what she means by people 'judging' others.
this post is in response to another judgement that was made about someone by sassy innocously, but when i thought about it, i realised that it wasnt completely true! will take it up with her sometime, someday! i hope Ms.sassy does not feel offended by my innocous post and certainly not provoked enough to judge me! :) love u sassy

2007-03-25T01:01:00.000+05:30

HOW SPIRITUAL ARE WE?
Spirituality. The word often used and abused these days. It is fashionable to be spiritual with the Deepak Chopras ruling the roost and laughing all the way to the banks (one bank does not suffice!) Osho, a controversial Indian teacher, comments of spiritual teachers that "[o]ut of one hundred masters, there is only one Master, ninety-nine are only teachers. The teacher is necessarily learned, the Master ... it is not a necessity... The Master is a rebel. he lives out of his own being, he is spontaneous, not traditional..."
What exactly is spirituality? Is it a lesson or concept a la geometry that can be taught to us by teacher or ‘Guru’ as they prefer to be called . Is it a pill that can be gulped down with water to provide instant relief from all the stress of our hectic lives. To put things in perspective, spirituality is not allopathy but rather akin to homoeopathy, which treats not the disease but rather the individual in a systematic and gradual manner without any side-effects and by the use of sweet pills!

Spirituality is an attempt to connect to that essential living force within us, the force that helps us when we need help the most, that makes us take the most difficult of decisions, that helps us decide the right and wrong. Spirituality helps us to connect to the Self. As is said in the Gita, “Wherever the mind wanders, restless and diffuses in its search for satisfaction without, lead it within; train it to rest in the Self.” Being spiritual may have agoal directed side, with aims like improving the wisdom and willpower, achieving a closer connection to the universe and removing illusions and “false ideas” at the sensory level. Some commentators regard spirituality as a two-stroke process: the "upward stroke" of inner growth, changing oneself as one changes one's relationship with the external universe; and the "downward stroke" of manifesting improvements in the physical reality around oneself as a result of the inward change

The British magazine What is Enlightenment?, in its tenth anniversary issue, published an article which drew a distinction between what it called "feel good" or "translational" spirituality, and "transformational" spirituality, the former covering essentially the practices whereby a person feels better or changes approach, without in fact enhancing personal underlying spiritual centering or ego-related viewpoint.

Now coming back to the main question, how spiritual are we? To answer it, first we would have to ascertain how exactly someone can be spiritual. One might be a member of all the ‘spiritual groups’, spend the better part of the day in being ‘spiritual’, and yet not be any nearer to God or to the self, than when he began. The reason being that spirituality is not objective. Each of us is different in ways that the creator devised and so our way of connecting to him is different. For some people, being regular in their day to day work, amounts to being spiritual. They derive a sense of order within seeing the sense of order outside them. For people with artistic pursuits, their art is akin to spirituality. The creation of a spectacular piece of art presents them with the relief they need from the chaos and stress of the mundane world.

The bottom line is that the various spirituality courses on offer might be a way to achieve inner piece but it is not the only way. The need is for people to realize that to connect to the Self, the only requirement is, well, a conscientious SELF.

2006-10-11T02:29:00.000+05:30

THE VIRTUAL YOU

Do u have a virtual existence, well not the Neo and Morpheus type, but a little toned down? Are u always pounding away on your cell phone keypad and reducing it to unrecognizable piece of junk? Are u always logged on to Orkut and g-talk? Are you suffering from the obsessive compulsive disorder of checking your cellphone at regular intervals for smses, and fret when your friend or your beloved doesn’t msg for long and worse still, doesn’t even reply to your sms! Well, if you are then you are a part of a growing breed, a breed that is always ‘wired’, always ‘connected’…….. probe further and the connection seems a strange one because there isn’t really anything concrete to be connected to!
With the advent of personal computers and internet services (well, ok, that’s a thing of the past), or lets say, the affordability of laptops and the penetration of the broadband internet services in India, the number of internet users has gone up exponentially. Keeping in mind the demographics of the popular social networking site Orkut, on which India has the second highest registered members (more than the mighty USA), we can easily conclude that people are shying away from the physical world and slowly allowing themselves to get metamorphosed into those super talented and super intelligent dudes and those ultra beautiful girls that they portray themselves in the virtual world.
Not just the need to portray a different self but also the need to always be in touch has spawned a whole generation of sms addicts. The red line beneath the word ‘sms’ in ms word 03, thereby proclaiming that it is not recognized as a valid word, presents a world which is far from today’s reality where sms is the buzzword in communication. A great boost to the popularity of the sms as a tool, not only of communication but a plethora of other activities, was the just concluded ‘1 paisa sms’ and the ‘1500 free sms’ schemes by Airtel and Hutch respectively. Ask any college going kid and he will rattle off a number of love stories that have been nurtured and also those that have met their sad demise because of the scheme! The people were pleasantly surprised when the schemes were launched, with some scoffing at the huge figure of 1500 sms, there was no way that anyone was going to send those many messages in a month…..well that was the beginning! People, especially the student community, not only relished the 1500 messages but went onto to get there second and third ‘magic’ coupons of the month! Gone were the days of passing chits and scribbling at the corners of the page in the boring lecture and secretly laughing at the professor or the class nerd, all u needed was a mobile with the ‘magic’ and voila! You were in business, the high tech way.
A great man (God bless me if I remember his name) once said that letter is the best way of negotiation. Is this the cause of the the great emphasis on the written, or lets say the typed word in today’s generation? The inability or the reluctance to carry on a conversation with someone impromptu? The lack of on the feet thinking? Or is it simply an escape from the big bad real world into the beautiful world where big words compensate for every shortcoming in your physical aspect? its imperative that the diagnosis be done accurately and at the earliest because the prognosis looks bad!

2006-10-10T01:06:00.000+05:30

life ??????
how many of you are troubled by 'love' in ur life or the lack of it? i know a majority of you would be. I am :( and so are you. How many of you are sick of life coz you feel there is no one to understand you and talk to you? I am :( and so are you. So why not solve this problem? i dont think many people wud b reading my blog but atleast there are a few, so why dont we put it here?
i will and i wont keep anything away. yes im in love, was in love and will always be because no matter what i say and what i do, the fact remains that i cant ever get over dat girl. lets call her js,coz i dont want to put her name out here,not that it would make a slightest difference to anyone but i dont want to give her any reason to fight with me!
i 'fell' (i wonder why they say fell in love when u actually rise in love) in love when i saw her for the very first time, well not exactly love but the first time i saw her, i knew we will have a story as saif says in hum tum, and what a story we have had over the past year and a half! yes, we became friends, we became good friends and she even became my best friend( cant say the same bout her although i know that im an integral part of har life when shez down and needs someone to hold her)........ the journey was paved with pain and sorrow and loads of them, there were happy moments too.
i still miss the time we spent in the college grounds, she me and mervy, those were the days wen we were the happiest. then came a monster in our life whoo changed everything :(....

to cut a long story short, i know i love her more than i love anyone else ( lets leave my ma n sis outta it), i know that shez engaed with someone else but does not love dat asshole guy and i also know that she loves me albeit in a strange way and that she can nevr ever let people say that im her man nor can she ever let herself accept that........( confused????? think bout my mental state) but still im writing all this and wasting mu time n life coz i cant do anything else!

my friends say shud forget her, shud let her live her own life , shouldnt pamper her so much taht she has spent 18 yrs of her life and can spend the rest also without getting into trouble but i cannot help it! is there anything left for me to do?
people say dont be judgemental but i say please be judgemental and judge me! things ahve come to such a pass taht i neeed a public poll to ru'i'n my life! HELP ME

2006-10-04T02:06:00.000+05:30

Memoirs of a loser

What age are you? Going by the statistics of the worldwide net users (that is making the assumption that people worldwide are going to read a blog written by a third rate student of a third rate college in the third world country of India) maybe you lie in the broad age group of 15-50 (+/-10 yrs or so). Think back to all those memorable years of your life and try and think of something worthwhile that you have done in your life……anything which made a difference to somebody’s life…hell…even your own life (iam talking bout positive change)…if you are one of those who draw up a blank then read on…the others might just change the page and do something important!

Im 19, and in the declining months of that wonderful yet excruciatingly painful part of our lives, the teenage years. I still remember that day when I turned 13 and looked forward to years of great fun, excitement, some vices and experiencing all the rites of passage into adulthood. The years came and went and after some bitter and some sweet memories, what I have left with me is virtually nothing. Apart from going to school, getting decent marks in my boards, graduating from school to college I haven’t done anything. What I want to tell people through this, is that there is no right time to do things but the present! I kept thinking of things to do and when I would do them but I never could find the right time. Time doesn’t make MAN important, but MAN makes time auspicious.

So all you people who do meet with the accident of stumbling upon this rotten and stinking piece of writing and actually waste your important time in reading it, then I do request you to comment upon it and tell me which of the two categories mentioned above, you belong to!

2006-09-30T12:55:00.000+05:30

the best moments arent made by the use u put those moments to........they are made 'the best' because of the people you spend them with and the experiences you share..... heres to a wonderful day spent with my friends :)

2006-09-28T20:11:00.000+05:30

love love everywhere but not a drop to drink! (pun intented)......duznt it ring a bell? look around urself and u will find countless 'hurt' souls........wounded by dat little naked angel whose arrow went right thru there heart leaving a chasm so deep dat it will probably never be filled.so what is it with the disease called love? why do people knowingly and unknowingly fall into the trap?
im still trying to find out and if anyone who happens to read dis.....please do bother to tell me

the mundane needs some thinking over

M

WISE cracks

The Realisation

What Kind of Drink Are You?